<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>His Eyes.. by suppakei</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28732164">His Eyes..</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/suppakei/pseuds/suppakei'>suppakei</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mewgulf, เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Boy's Love, Gulf Kanawut - Freeform, M/M, Mew Suppasit - Freeform, MewGulf - Freeform, One Shot, Romance, TharnType, Yaoi, thaibl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:33:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,268</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28732164</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/suppakei/pseuds/suppakei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gulf was so near. But he could only watch Mew from afar.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>His Eyes..</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>-one shot<br/>-full-on angst<br/>-very slight 🔞<br/>-a little action<br/>-plot twist?<br/>-gulf’s pov &amp; 3rd person’s pov<br/>-gangster!gulf x doctor!mew<br/>-inspired by the picture below<br/>- italic convo refers to the past<br/>-may contain typos<br/>-originally posted in my twitter account @SUPPAkei8</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span class="u">
      <strong>xxx</strong>
    </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>He was beautiful. </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>In a sea of people who wore the same long white satin gown, he shined the brightest.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>When he was called to the stage and was awarded the highest honors, I shouted the loudest. And yet, he couldn’t hear me.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span><em>“I will be a doctor. Remember that Gulf. I will work so hard so you wouldn’t have to. I will provide for you and you just- why are you sighing? Aren’t you excited for me?!”</em> He furrowed his eyebrows at my discontent.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span><em>“First of all, I’m not some disabled man to just stay still and do nothing. I want to work too, mister. And second, I am excited but not about you showering me with money. I’m excited for that day when we wouldn’t have to role-play a sexy doctor and a needy patient anymore. Next time it would be for real.”</em> I teased him with a kiss but he wouldn’t let me go afterward.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>When he was finally holding his diploma he ran to the field and raised it proudly. He was instantly mobbed with hugs and congratulations. I stood from afar, waiting for everyone to settle down just so I could see his eyes and hope he would look at me once again.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>If you asked me ‘What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve seen?’... I would have to say, his eyes. You could learn so much just by looking into them.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>The <b><em>first</em></b> thing I’ve learned is the eyes always determine how genuine one’s smile is.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>For the longest time, I didn’t smile. Maybe that’s why people didn’t really approach me. What’s the point of using all those muscles if you don’t mean it anyway?</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>I’ve been always fooled by people’s smiles. Until I realized the problem. Everyone’s eyes were the same. It ironically showed apathy.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>It wasn’t until he showed up with those sparkling and obnoxiously optimistic eyes that I started believing there was such thing as an honest smile. It was different from anyone else. They were the only ones I trust. </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>The <b><em>second</em></b> thing I’ve learned is that his eyes had the ability to feel the same pain I felt.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>Ever since I could remember, I was considered more like a slave than a proper human being. Constantly pushed in illegal activities so I can ‘pay’ for my survival. He didn’t know this at first but he knew I was hurting. He pestered me until I gave in to his sweet words and untiring care. When I knew it was safe to tell him who I really was, he cried. The tears were unstoppably rolling down his cheeks.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span><em>“No one deserves what you’re going through. I don’t know how to protect you. I don’t know how to stop it.” </em>I laughed because it was as if he was the one suffering. He didn’t know a single thing about the hardship I was going through but he willingly absorbed my pain and helped me carry the burden. </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>The <b><em>third</em></b> thing I’ve learned is the eyes could tell you how much you’re wanted.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>Since I came to this world, I wasn’t wanted. But he did. A well-educated man who grew up in a decent powerful family. Everyone would think he’s a fool if they knew he fell for a good for nothing man like me.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span><em>“You’re not thinking this through. I’m not the one for you.”</em> I begged him to rethink his decisions. I didn’t deserve him. I’m not deserving of anything.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>However, he silenced me with a kiss. His hands traced my body. Touching my most intimate parts so tenderly and with care. I let out a whimper each time he filled me up. I dug my nails into his skin while I generously left love marks on his neck. We were tangled with each other, not wanting to break away from the pleasure that was taking us to ecstasy.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>He was everything I wanted. It was then I realized he was my universe.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>The <b><em>fourth</em></b> thing I’ve learned is when you’ve spent a lot of time getting lost in his brown orbs, your eyes wouldn’t be able to lie anymore.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span><em>“You’re lying. I know you. I know the beat of your heart. It’s them, isn’t it? They’re after you again!” </em>He was right but he doesn’t need to know that. He will try and save me again and this time I don’t think we would be so lucky.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>I know what they’re capable of. I know how ruthless they could be. I was once one of them and I’ve done terrible things too.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>I didn’t want him to suffer the consequences of choosing me. And so I had to let him go. It wasn’t fair but since when did life become fair? He will hurt for a while but he knows how to create his own happiness. He will surely move on.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>It’s been a few years. He’s now a doctor who’s ready to save lives. The profession really suited him. Now he can give his love, care, and attention to those who really need it. To those who deserve it. </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>Will he still remember me?</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>If I showed up in front of him, would he cry and hug me?</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>I keep longing for this feeling. Does he long for it too?</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>Even though a lot of people were on the way, I took up the courage to walk up to him. I didn’t know why I was so nervous. I didn’t know why I was scared. Perhaps, I was hoping he could turn my way. Just one last time, I wanted him to look me in the eyes and see his heart.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>However, I know it’s impossible. He couldn’t see me.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>No one can.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>I made the grave mistake of trusting someone’s smile again. They promised me they wouldn’t hurt him if I came back. They told me they would leave him alone.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span><em>“What? You thought you can just run away and come back without being punished? We found your boy toy. I think they’re beating him up at the moment. He’s a big man, I think he could take a little punch for you.”</em> They laughed. They all did. I froze while watching them make fun of me. I was starting to see red and I knew if I didn’t lose control I wouldn’t be able to get to him on time.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>They made the wrong move of giving me a gun right away because they didn’t see the bullets coming their way. They must have forgotten that I didn’t show mercy and that I didn’t care for them.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>I knew exactly where they took him. When I arrived, they were still enjoying kicking the man I loved.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>I took them out with one bullet each. I didn’t even give them the chance to plead for their life.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>He was lying down unconscious on the cold hard ground. He wasn’t responsive. He once told me he has a weak heart and often reminded me that I should handle it with care because it would literally break if I drop it.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>We got to the hospital on time but it didn’t mean he was safe.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span><em>“This is an unfortunate circumstance Mr. and Mrs. Jongcheveevat. I know Mew really took care of his heart and health. But I will have to be honest with you. He is in critical condition right now. He needs to have a heart transplant immediately. His weakening heart could stop in a few hours. There is no assurance that a donor will be available right away or if he is compatible with one. I don’t want you to lose hope but I just want you to consider all possibilities. All we could do is pray that someone would be ready.” </em>His mother shrieked as she fell to the ground. His father caught her on time but he couldn’t comfort her. They were dying little by little too and if it wasn’t for me their son could’ve been safe and sound. I needed to do something. I have to fix what I’ve broken.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>
      <em>“Sir, I just want you to know what you’re signing up for. Your test results came out perfect. You have a very healthy heart.”</em>
    </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>
      <em>“I don’t have a family nor do I have anything to look back at. So, yes this is what I want.” </em>
    </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>
      <em>“Very well then sir. If you could just-“</em>
    </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span><em>“I can choose who to donate my heart to. I can do that, right?”</em> She was taken aback but she nodded her head.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>
      <em>“Yes. It’s called a designated donation. However, we still need to do some tests to assure that your hearts are compatible.”</em>
    </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span><em>“I’m sure we’re a match.”</em> I lied. I wasn’t sure but I claimed it. It will be compatible. It has to be.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>
      <em>“Who do you want to donate to?” </em>
    </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span><em>“To the man I love dearly. To the man who has the most beautiful eyes.”</em> I wrote his name on the blank space and settled everything.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>Would this be enough to make up for my mistakes?</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span><em>“Suppasit... is this the man waiting in the ICU for a heart transplant?”</em> I didn’t reply. But I’m sure she knows the answer.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>I rode my motorcycle and took a drive. Maybe he could wait for an hour. I just wanted to reminisce about our life together. It was short-lived but at least I had a taste of a beautiful life.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>The <b><em>last</em></b>and my most favorite lesson of all is that his eyes could teach a coldhearted man like me about unconditional love. I wasn’t planning on knowing what love was but he forced me to see. His eyes showed me a kind world where everything was possible and peaceful. In his eyes I found solace. Everything around me could burn but all I have to do is look at him and everything would vanish. And for that, I’m forever grateful.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>I wasn’t a religious man. But for the first time, I prayed. For a very long time, I stopped asking and believing since nothing went my way. However, I decided to try my luck in my last prayer.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>
      <em>“Please let him live. He would do so many great things in his lifetime.”</em>
    </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>Mew didn’t deserve me but he did deserve my heart to live on and be a greater man than I will ever be. </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>I increased my speed and took a deep breath. There was a loud crash and the sound of beeping. I felt my warm blood trickle down my face. This was it. I’m ready.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span class="u">
      <strong>xxx</strong>
    </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>People were starting to move away and finally, He could breathe and stop smiling.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>Mew now understood what Gulf meant about ungenuine smiles. Today is the most important day of his life. He was satisfied and was accomplished but he wasn’t happy. A smile could hide what he felt but only Gulf could understand what’s truly in his head.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>His heart loved looking him in the eyes. It was like he was always searching for something. It was as if his eyes holds the answer to every question he had.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span><em>“Why do you keep looking at me that way? It’s like you’re staring in my soul.”</em>He asked him in bed. The rays of the sun were hitting their bare bodies.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span><em>“Don’t mind me. I just like learning new things.”</em>It confused him but he figured it was his way of saying ‘I love you’.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>Mew looked around if there was someone who would still approach him. For a moment he froze because he saw someone from a far distance, a familiar face.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>“Gulf?” He called his name and walked in his direction. There was no doubt that it was him.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>“Mew! You’re leaving already?! Where are you going?” A friend blocked him on the way.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>His heart was gone in a blink of an eye.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>Disappointment rushed in again.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>“Yes. I really need to be somewhere.” He said and excused himself.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>Flower vendors lined outside the school grounds. They were selling various kinds to cater to every student who just graduated. But Mew just wanted one specific flower.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>“This is the last one. And it’s the best!” The old lady handed over the sunflower and he handled it with so much care.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>The land where his heart rests was an hour away from his current place. But every day he visits him to tell him stories and just to feel his presence. </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>Mew sat on the ground and placed the sunflower on top of his heart’s headstone.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>“I did it Gulf. I’m a doctor now. You were so excited not to roleplay anymore. Too bad you left so early.” Mew laughed at the empty response.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>It’s been 4 years and he did everything to distract himself from the loss. The first year was the hardest part to get through but he knew he couldn’t keep being miserable. He has Gulf’s heart now. He might as well put it to good use.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>“You were there a while ago weren’t you?” Mew promised himself not to cry every time he misses him but he wanted to see his heart again so badly.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>“I told you to take care of my heart not replace it. I just want you to come back. Just please come back.” His chest feels tight but his heart was calm.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>The cold breeze passed by him and suddenly everything felt alright.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>It was him.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>The only man he loved.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>Telling him that in another life they will meet again.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span>With the same eyes and the same heart, maybe they could love each other a little longer.</span>
  </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello guys!</p><p>Yes another angst fic from me!</p><p>How was it? Please tell me in the comments 🥺</p><p>Thank you for reading!</p><p>And check out my other fics!</p><p>Follow my twitter @SUPPAkei8 for new fics!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>